SMACKDOWN: Flies v Mosquitoes

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Texas (where I’m from) and Saudi Arabia (where I live) have a lot of things in common. Texas has big, wide-open spaces. Saudi Arabia has big, wide-open spaces. Texas has its share of crazy people in its government, and so does Saudi Arabia. Texas and Saudi Arabia both have a lot of oil. Texas has mosquitoes that will drive you to drink. But this is where it splits. Saudi Arabia doesn’t have a lot of mosquitoes (which may explain why they don’t drink), but they do have flies. And the flies can make you nuts.

In the late summer on the Texas coast when the mosquitoes are being blown in off the salt grass in clouds, you always have a plan of defense. You can spray yourself in Teflon Off, fog your yard, stay inside, wear long sleeves, and if one lands on you, you smack the little bugger. Game over. You always have sense of superiority over the mosquito; feel that you go into it with an advantage.

It’s not that easy with these flies. These flies are smart. They know our weaknesses and how to push our buttons. I’m suspicious that they might even have the super power of invisible cloaking, because as soon as you try to hunt one down with a flyswatter to slaughter it, it disappears. Only to reemerge when you put the flyswatter down.

Once a fly has zeroed in and targeted you for torture, it has a one track mind. You can’t just shoosh it away, it won’t go. If you go to another room, city, part of the world, know that the fly will go with you. It’s like a virus.

In an effort to get the upper hand, I got online to learn more about my enemy. I’ve narrowed the perpetrators down to Blow Flies. Overall annoying, but harmless according to several websites. Unless they lay their eggs in your nose while you’re sleeping. Suddenly, I’m thinking West Nile, Malaria and Dengue Fever aren’t really so bad. Not when you compare it to having a newly born nursery of blow flies crawling out of your nasal openings.

After learning this, I’ve made some important changes in my life here in the Kingdom. I’ve become a ninja when it comes to hunting and killing flies now. As part of my new ninja training, I’m able to sleep with one eye open. And I’ve learned to appreciate mosquito bites. 

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