Push the seven deadly sins aside! Forget about unspeakable crimes against mankind! Iran, Iraq and North Korea are no longer the Axis of Evil! The true source of evil among us has officially been declared … women drivers. According to the grand mufti of Saudi Arabia, Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah al-Sheikh, the matter of women driving cars must be “considered from the perspective of protecting society from evil.” HA! I knew it!
It’s not just annoying to have some woman in front of you at the intersection putting on mascara long after the light has turned green, it’s a portal for pestilence. Giggly girls gabbing on the cell phone instead of paying attention to traffic is eroding the moral fiber of humanity. And don’t even get me started on the eternal damnation we are all being condemned to because women don’t know how to change the oil, check the tire pressure or use a turn signal! All of which is easily avoided by simply prohibiting women from driving. Can I get a kumbaya and an amen from the balcony?
You may recall that our friend, Mr. Abdullah al-Sheikh is the same guy who pointed out that driving would damage women’s ovaries as an argument about allowing them to drive earlier this year. I’m barely coping with the shock and dismay of the reproductive ramifications I’ve inflicted upon myself from years of Toyota time and now I have to accept that my car keys have unlocked uncounted evil into the world. It’s almost too much to bear.
I’m not completely sure that the most senior cleric’s words are getting past the veils of the Saudi women and soaking into their heads, because the push for the right to put the pedal to the metal continues. It obviously wasn’t enough for them this past spring that they were finally given the right to ride a bicycle in public. As long as it was only for entertainment. In a park. If they’re accompanied by a male relative. And dressed in the full abaya and veil. Okay, a burkha on a bike is going to be entertainment no matter which way you look at it, but a burkha in a BMW is a whole new kettle of fish.
If the protests continue and the issue is pressed, I can only expect the Sheikh to tack on another terror. Global warming, the failure of ObamaCare, Honey BooBoo … yup, all because somewhere there are women driving!