Are You One of “Those People”?

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I’m coming to the realization that there are just some people in this world who are beyond the point of social rehabilitation. When you encounter them, I recommend you bolt or at least avert your eyes. You have to understand that your time and energy are better served other places, like chipping old nail polish off your toes or alphabetizing your spice rack. These are folks who are beyond your help, and you must just let them be. No matter how painful that is. The list is extensive, but here are just a few of the major players.

People who play Sudoku. Be wary of these people. They play number games that can’t be solved, all by themselves, for fun. In any book, that’s suspicious. You’re probably wise to be cautious around anyone that deals extensively with numbers, including but not limited to engineers, accountants, and stock brokers. They can be shifty.

The Astros. Bless their hearts. They have all the fundamental characteristics of being a baseball team. There’s a stadium where they all gather together wearing the same type of clothing that other baseball teams wear. They have access to bats and gear. But somehow, that’s where the illusion seems to end. No amount of squinting or wishing or bartering first round draft picks with Satan can actually convince anyone that they’re really a baseball team. Not this year.

Anyone who doesn’t understand Texas. While I am a proponent of worldwide acceptance and love of all peoples, anyone who doesn’t “get” Texas should be scorned. I had to unfriend someone on Facebook because of something they said about Texas. I won’t repeat it here because my mother raised me better. Certainly a level of grace can be extended to those who might be unaware of all that is the Lone Star State, but it is merely short-term. Immediate conversion, proven by memorizing all the words to any George Strait song, must be forthcoming or they should be shunned. Texas isn’t just a state; it’s a state of mind.

Of course, it goes without saying that Justin Bieber fans, anyone who willingly owns a snake, people who pour ketchup all over their fries instead of dipping them, and the creepy kind of clowns that give you nightmares long into adulthood are on the list. Certainly this is just my opinion and in no way reflects the attitudes and beliefs of the management. Even if they do agree.

(Credit: Suspicion Drawing by Tim Ernst)

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