Monthly Archives: May 2015

No Do-Overs

010In just a few shockingly short days, my oldest son will graduate from high school. It brings on a spin cycle of emotions and memories and moments when I’m not sure I can breathe. Throughout the run up to this major life event, I have learned a few key things that might be helpful to others who are in the same boat or see the boat pulling into the harbor in the next few years. If this is a been-there-done-that for you, see if you don’t back me up on this.

First of all, if you’ve never been involved in community theater, do that now. You’re going to have to learn to be an actor. For example, you’ll need to act like you’re not having your heart scooped out of your chest with a grapefruit spoon all the time – last school dance, last birthday at home, graduation ceremonies, college acceptance letters. You have to act convincingly like you’re really ok with this black hole vacancy that’s going to move in when your baby moves out.

Consider magician as your new career field. It’ll come in handy when you need to magically produce cash for prom, grad night parties, announcements, dorm deposits, tuition payments, and, oh by the way, “I outgrew my dress clothes last week” so throw in a new suit and shoes. Magician Mom will benefit from a little mind reading to know when this young adult is feeling more adult or a little too young for such a big world. Not to mention, you’re the one who will magically make all the details of this transition happen because your soon-to-be-graduate is far too caught up in finals, friends and fun.

Then, prepare to be baffled. I’m constantly baffled at how we went from chicken nuggets and nap time to charging off to conquer the world in just a few minutes. It was only minutes, right? And why is that as soon as they start becoming these really cool people that you actually want to be around, they leave? Why don’t they go off to college when they’re teething or colicky or in that horrible hormonal stage that renders them unrecognizable? Just when you’ve gotten them turned into great people, they move out.

Is it too late to rethink raising that baby into a strong, intelligent, independent young man who is ready to spread his wings and fly? Probably no do-overs at this point, huh? Then all I can do is hold my breath and watch him soar! Go get ’em. Jack!


Filed under Much Ado About Nothing

Rioting: The Unasked Questions

urban_murica_540First there was Rodney King and the LA riots, an assortment of minor skirmishes along the way, then we had Ferguson and now Baltimore. Rioting seems to be growing in popularity as a national pastime, but I’m finding it all a bit confusing. Maybe I’m just too old to get it. I don’t know that I could actually huck a rock far enough to break out a store window anymore. I’d have to stand so close to get the job done, that I’d end up covered in glass shards which would then totally clog my Kenmore when I washed those clothes later on. Maybe, though, if someone could explain the mentality of rioting, I could better get into this new craze.

For example, I don’t understand the logic in destroying the neighborhood you live in. If you burn down all the buildings and rob all the stores, don’t those businesses leave? I’m thinking that if I own the local StuffMart and it gets looted and burned down in a riot, I’m going to collect my insurance check and reopen StuffMart where the crazy people don’t live. Maybe instead of setting all the cars on fire, we should get in them and drive to someone else’s neighborhood. Maybe not your grandma’s neighborhood, but there are some bad neighborhoods that might actually benefit from having all the buildings burned down!

On a positive note, riots do seem to get people off the couch and out of the house. If you’re running from the police, at least you’re running. That’s good for your heart. Turning cars over probably builds some good upper body muscles. These things will be especially important if the gyms have all been burned down. You’ve got to get your workout in somewhere.

Overall, though, I’m not completely clear on how committing criminal acts will help us reach our goals. If our goals are to change the system, I’m not sure that this is an effective way to do it. I’m just tossing out ideas here, but maybe instead of picking up rocks or fire bombs, we should pick up ballots and books. If you don’t like how your city is run, get involved. Be the change you want to see. You have a voice, but no one will hear it over blaring sirens from fire trucks, riot squads, and ambulances. But hey, what do I know?

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Filed under Much Ado About Nothing