Stop the dadburn presses! How is it that there are 20 miniature donkeys in Arizona that need to be adopted and no one called me?! These are just a clump of the 160 that wound up at a Texas animal rescue site after a “breeding incident.” Please don’t ask me what a miniature donkey “breeding incident” is exactly. The last time someone used the words “breeding incident,” three-headed toads were swarming out of a university lab. But that’s another story for another time. Right now, there’s a miniature donkey with a cuteness factor well above normal ranges that needs me.
Who wouldn’t want a miniature donkey, unless you were the kind of person who lives in a cave, complains about Christmas and hates all things precious. Because quite honestly, miniature donkeys have the cuteness capabilities to make a basket of Labrador retriever puppies look like a collection of river leaches. They’re that cute.
According to the information I found about the homeless donkey-ettes, they prefer to be together with other little donkey friends. That only sounds like I probably need to adopt several or 20 of them. Of course, I have to pay the $400/per donkey adoption fee and find a way to explain it to my homeowners association — the same homeowners association that had very strong feelings against my Adopt-a-Chicken idea and starting my “We Be Bees” homegrown honey business, but I’m sure they’ll come around on this one. I mean as soon as they see those fuzzy little donkey faces, how can they resist?
Think of the benefits of having a few wee bitty donkeys around! If they’re anything like their larger cousins, the guard donkey, then you can kick your home security system to the curb. They’ll for sure protect your herds of miniature cows and miniature sheep. Plus, they don’t stand outside and bark all night. They’re more fuel efficient than a Prius (not that you could really ride one to HEB for groceries unless you are under about 80 pounds. In which case you need a lot more groceries than you can pack on a miniature donkey so take the Prius). And if you can keep the situation under control, you could breed a few and everyone you know and love gets a miniature donkey baby in their stocking next Christmas! I definitely need miniature donkeys!