Reward Dead or Alive?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAFilling in for Jean Ciampi who thinks it’s too stinkin’ hot to work is Guest Blogger and Columnist Buster the Wonder Dog. A distinguished and grateful alumni of the Brazoria County SPCA, Buster currently advocates for animal rights (with the exclusion of squirrels because he believes they get exactly what they deserve).

Recently, I was out patrolling the neighborhood as any good and respectable dog does, sniffing mailboxes, trees, bushes. You know, checking the pee mail. That’s when I saw that someone had stuck a paper on a pole with the picture of a lost cat and the ridiculous claim of a $500 reward. My first thought was that this cat must have swallowed an expensive pair of diamond earrings before it ran away. Because unless the cat is actually a dog, there’s no cat worth that!

LostWho would pay $500 to have a cat given back? Just speaking from the dog’s perspective, I’d pay twice that for someone to load up a whole litter of cats and haul them off. But that’s just me and I’m a dog. Besides, why would you want a cat that, at best, has zero sense of loyalty and, at worst, has a miserable sense of direction? I’m thinking this cat got fed up with that family and moved in with someone on the other side of the neighborhood that has a bigger food bowl. Face it, that’s how cats are.

Of course, there’s a family that’s obviously upset. No one wants to see a helpless animal suffer – even if that helpless animal is a human. Unfortunately, there are just misguided people who actually prefer cats to having a dog. Yes, that’s stupid and those people should have their trash dumped over and strewn across their front yard to mark them as stupid. But regardless of that, this family, sadly, has an attachment to the cat that probably hasn’t thought about them even once. Because, well, that’s how cats are.

The kindest thing to do in this situation, in my humble dog opinion, would be to gently let these caring though confused people know that, for a mere fraction of that reward, they could adopt a really nice, loyal dog who would be smart enough not to run away and be their lifelong best friend. It may just be time to puppy up!

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5 Comments

Filed under Much Ado About Nothing

5 responses to “Reward Dead or Alive?

  1. Donna Lunsford

    The neighborhood that has you in it, Buster, is one lucky neighborhood!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Caroline McD.

    Cat claw daggers are headed your way!

    Like

  3. Carolyn Kessler

    Please tell the Guest Columnist and Buster the Wonder Dog that he writes very well and makes a strong case about not paying $500 for a lost cat. I find that I agree with him.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. berthurst

    Dear Buster …
    “Buster”? Really? Couldn’t your people bother to Google “better names for dogs than Buster”? They would have gotten about 3 zillion responses.
    …. Ella & Christy (Bert’s beautiful, loving, intelligent cats)
    p.s. It’s true what they say, dogs really do look like their owners

    Like

  5. Hiiiiisssss! All the Cats EVERYWHERE

    Like

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