Monthly Archives: September 2019

I Don’t Get It


Brace yourself! I’m going to show my ignorance once again. While this is not a novelty, the target of that ignorance is: car shows. I just don’t get car shows. From what I understand (which obviously isn’t much), you have a vehicle that you’ve spent a sum equivalent to the national debt on but don’t really drive and you park it somewhere so other broke car collectors can come look at it. Did I get that right?

I totally get home and garden shows. You go to one of those and get ideas for outdoor kitchens that can potentially cost more than the value of your actual home. Plus, you can register to win two rooms of free carpet cleaning. You go to bridal shows because where else can a girl find out about intergalactic destination weddings and trending must-have bridesmaids’ dresses that will look ugly on everyone? I suppose if I was looking to invest in a steer, a llama, or an adorable dinky donkey, I’d go to a livestock show. Even quilt shows, for some reason, make more sense to me and I can’t so much as sew on a button. But not car shows.

They seem, though, to pop up everywhere. I feel like the minute K-Mart or Sears post the Store Closing signs, they might as well post the car show coming signs. Any big parking lot is just a car show waiting to happen. At night, no less! How can you truly appreciate the factory-original valve covers of a 1966 Shelby 427 Cobra in the dark? (Note: I had to Google engine parts and cool classic cars to even write that sentence.)

I say if you have a really cool car that you’re really proud of, drive it! A lot. Having a beautiful car hidden in the garage under a car cover is not much different than my grandmother putting plastic on her sofa to keep it nice for the one day a year that the Baptist preacher comes over.

My suspicion about car shows – correct me if I’m wrong – is that they’re just an excuse for guys to hang around somewhere besides at home, give them something to talk about besides the losing record of the <insert sports team name here>, and have a valid reason to avoid the home, garden and bridal shows!

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