Tag Archives: Spring Break

Apology to My Appliances

washerDear Kenmore Elite Washer and Dryer, I am so sorry. I understand that there are limits to your capacity and capabilities to perform your set functions, but I can’t tell my college students not to come home with a half-semester’s worth of dirty laundry. Of course, you and I have developed a machine-human relationship built on respect and understanding that, obviously, in their naïve youthfulness, they don’t quite get. I try not to overload you and you try not to eat single socks. For us, it works. They, however, have strange ideas. Young people are like that.

First of all, I sort clothes. Whites, colors, jeans, towels, delicates – you get it. It’s like an adult Sesame Street® game where you match all the things that are alike. If nothing else, this is a great way to keep tighty-whities from being tighty-denim blues. So maybe college students don’t actually get that. To them, sorting is “wash” or “throw away.” One load. One love. And whereas I try to not overtax the machine, they believe if you can still force the door closed, you’re good to go. My dear Kenmores, I can only apologize.

To the French-door, freezer underneath refrigerator, I appreciate your efforts to work overtime. I do understand that it is more difficult to maintain a consistent temperature when the doors stand open for long periods of time. And yes, I realize, too, that there was a lot of food in there, but maybe there were just too many choices. Although, by the end of the relatively brief visit, you and the pantry looked like all battalions of the Syrian Army had just come through on a supply raid. I promise to reward your consistency and patience by restocking as soon as I liquidate my 401K.

You have to realize, my prized and well-loved appliances, that college students just aren’t like you. They have no easy-to-understand manual that lets you trouble-shoot problems as they arise. There is certainly no warranty or protection plan. There are no YouTube videos that explain step-by-step how to go back to the original factory settings. Trust me, I checked!

The good news for you – although not so much for me – is that the college students seem to only migrate through seasonally. I’ve already scheduled the technician for your tune-ups. And thank you for your service.


Filed under Much Ado About Nothing

Spring Break: Nepal?! WTH?!

No one can say I’m not up for an adventure. I mean, I live in the Middle East after all! Find a bigger, weirder adventure than that. Well, I did. I booked a two-week trip to Nepal for me and my family for Spring Break this year. And with each moment that it gets closer to our departure time, I’m more overwhelmed with thoughts of “WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?!”

The first alarm bells went off for me when the tour company sent me an email suggesting we bring our own sleeping bags. I read that several times trying to compute what exactly they were saying. Did they want me to bring a My Little Pony sleeping bag so that I’ll have somewhere comfortable to lie down for a nap after lunch as we trek through the mountains? Or did they mean a hi-tech thermal body bag survival sleeping bag because, oh by the way, it’s getting down to the freezing point at 14,000 feet.

My confusion comes from the fact that I’m nearly positive I paid the extra however much money for the upgraded guest accommodations. What I’m coming to realize is that we’ve now upgraded from sleeping in the yak barn to sleeping on the stone floor of a Buddhist monastery. Since when is there no Marriott on Everest?!

With a newly heightened state of concern about this crazy mess I’ve gotten us into, I start looking a little more closely at the itinerary we’ve been sent. After arriving in Kathmandu, we will transfer by a small prop plane to the tiny village of Lukla at the base of Mount Everest. Okay, that sounds nice, except pull up Lukla on the internet and its notorious claim to fame is the fact that it’s the Most Dangerous Airport in the World. I try and reassure myself that if we crash, we’ll all go down together as a family. Unless one of us survives and is tragically maimed which would be even worse! Either way, no one will ever top that story on Facebook! So there’s an upside to everything.

After a week of trekking through the Himalayas, we’ll white water raft back down. So if I don’t die on the mountain (Go read the book “Into Thin Air), then I’ll probably drown in a frigid river careening down off the mountain. Let me repeat, “WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?!”


Filed under Much Ado About Nothing